wedding

Wedding Speeches 101

How to make the crowd laugh, cry and reflect in 10 easy steps

 

Have you felt the honour of being asked to give a toast at a wedding, only to realise you have never made a toast in your life and have no idea what to say? Don’t worry we have been there too.

 Whether you are in your best friend’s bridal party, the Mother of the Groom, planning your own wedding, or a guest at your cousin’s wedding, these few handy pointers are here to help you put together the speech of your life!

 

Image: @benandebony

 

1.Assess the room:

Think about your opening address and who you will be saying it to. Draw them in with a knee slapping one liner or instead ask them a question to gauge their attention. The trick; be sure your opening address fits the theme of the wedding, and your audience will relate to the tone of voice you are portraying. This will help you speak with intention and hook the audience in, to avoid the sound of crickets during your time in the spotlight.

 

2. Introduce yourself:

If you are making a speech at a wedding, chances are the majority of the guests will know who you are, though, this is not to say everyone will! Be sure to introduce yourself and make comment on how you know the couple, this will help to add purpose to your speech as a whole.

 

3. Congratulate the couple:

 Be sure to address and congratulate BOTH parties you are there to celebrate! Even if you have only met your best mate’s spouse a handful of times.

If you can’t think of a memory or story you experienced with them, think about things your friend has told you about them which makes them the perfect partner-to-be for your mate.

 

4. Read the room:

As the saying goes, this is a toast, not a roast…

Remember who is in the room, and choose your ‘funny’ stories wisely. In other words, leave the crude and embarrassing stories at home. Your besties’ new in-laws do not want to hear about what went on during your footy trip to Bali. Instead, make reference rather than recounting, you will thank us later.

This also goes for personal jokes, although they are great and hold meaning, they aren’t something the whole guest list will understand. So best to keep these to a minimum otherwise those crickets may appear.

 

 5. Remember your focus:

The couple! Or if you are the couple, show your appreciation to your new life partner and all of your loved ones who came to celebrate with you.

 

Image: @benandebony

 

6. Congratulate and thank:

An important one – hence the second mention.

Congratulate & thank the couple, the family, the bridal party and those who made the day possible.

 

7. Eject personality & bring the energy:

If you are shy and hate public speaking, we apologise in advance, but we highly recommend you smile, laugh, change the tone of your voice and praise the couple you are there to celebrate! This is what makes your speech heartfelt and sincere, we want to steer clear from monotone as much as possible.

If you are good at singing or if you are a poet, write something for the couple and perform it as your speech. Or, maybe dance is more your style? But remember, only go for something out of the box if it is relevant to the couple themselves.

And lastly, some liquid confidence will never go astray – though don’t go overboard. 

 

8. Less is more:

Get in, say what you need, and get out, no one likes a rambler, especially when the D-Floor is calling their name. The most ideal time for a speech is 3-5 minutes, so keep it short and sweet in order to keep your guests engaged.

 

9. Write it out and say it aloud:

 This one may seem like common sense, but there is nothing worse than forgetting to say something you wanted to tell the couple because stage fright got the better of you. It’s also a good idea to write out your speech as dot points on paper, in case you run the risk of your phone battery dying during the day. Plus, reading off of a phone is not the best look.

 And remember, practice makes perfect, so practise reading it aloud prior too. 

 

10: Don’t forget to toast:

Wrap up your speech by raising a glass to the couple, to love or to something relevant. Pause for a moment, take a sip, and relax knowing you have delivered a speech you are proud of.

 

Image: @tessaeckersley.photo

 

So, to sum up:

🎤 Practise makes perfect – we recommend against ‘winging it’.

🎤 Stay off the booze prior to speaking to reduce the risk of any potential embarrassment (a little is okay but know your limits).

🎤 Use note cards if you need to keep on track – this looks better than reading off of your phone and reduces the risk of your speech going missing because your phone died.

🎤 Remember your body language & eye contact.

🎤 And last but not least, don’t forget to toast 🥂

Round or long tables: What is the best choice for your wedding reception?

Wondering what table layout will work best for your wedding?

We wish we could say making the decision between round or long tables is an easy one. The truth is, choosing the best table layout for your wedding isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ approach. Your venue space & capacity, guest list, guest requirements, menu style and your overall wedding style all come into play.

We have made a good ol’ fashioned list of pros & cons for each table type, so you can way up the options and decide what is the best fit for your wedding reception. 

Image: @emmamacaulayphotography

Before we dive into the pros and cons debate, the first point of call is to check in with your venue. Confirm the capacity limit and do a walk-through of the reception space so you have a clear vision of what the space looks like, where the entry and exits are, the bathrooms and the power points. Trust us when we say, all these things will impact the floor layout.

Sometimes, venues often have their own furniture for you to use, which helps to make your choice of tables a whole lot simpler. If your venue space is a blank canvas, it’s still wise to check with the venue as to what their recommended floor plan for your number of guests may be, especially if they are coordinating or catering your wedding themselves.

Image: @thedayweddings

 

Round: Pros

– Round tables can’t be joined together, therefore there is less table top to be styled meaning less budget you will need to allocate to decorative items. So a pro for your budget!

– Round tables better accommodate conversation – guests can more easily chat to all parties on the table, rather than being restricted to the guests next to them or directly opposite.

 

Round: Cons

– Round tables tend to have the ‘been there, done that’ connotation. They are perceived as more traditional, which might not work with your wedding style.

Image: @parishawkenphoto

 

Long: Pros

– Long tables are communal – they can be joined together to create even longer tables, decreasing the overall number of tables on your seating chart all together. It might sound silly, but this can also decrease the chance of some of your guests getting upset with the table number they were put on.

– Long tables allow for more styling options –  think larger floral arrangements, table raisers, candle & posy vase combos.   

– Long tables more often than not sit more guests, which is a big tick if you are hiring tables, chairs & linen!

 

Long: Cons

– Not so easy to mingle. Long tables make it harder to strike up conversation with multiple guests during the seated service, other than the ones sitting next to you and directly across.

– Accessibility – getting to your seat can be difficult if you are sat in the middle of the table. If you are going for a long table layout, be sure to take this into considerations when drafting your seating plan. Seating your elderly guests in the middle of your long tables probably isn’t the best choice.

– Speaking of seating plans, it could possibly be a little more difficult putting together your seating plan with fewer tables to group your guests at. Word of advice, start this as early as possible and have a glass of wine handy!

 

Image: @holiiandash

 

 

A Recipe for Vow Writing Success

In today’s age, we are seeing more and more couples break away from traditional wedding customs, and instead introduce their own. Your wedding vows are no different.

Custom wedding vows are written from the heart and are personalised, authentic, and true to you as a couple – we mean, what is more real than that?!

 

Breaking away from tradition:

Gone are the days of using ‘thee’ & ‘troth’ in our everyday vocabulary, so you shouldn’t have to use these phrases when committing your love to one another. This isn’t to say that there is anything wrong with tradition, and if traditional wedding vows are meaningful to you as a couple then you should 110% use them as part of your marriage ceremony. Remember, it’s your day, you can do as you please!

So unless you want to use the tradition, it is more than okay (really it is encouraged) for you to write your own vows.

 

From the heart:

If it was up to us, we would say that writing your vows would have had to be the most heartfelt, rewarding and emotional part of your wedding planning journey. It brings you back down to reality to remember why you are actually marrying your person of choice, rather than worrying about your seating plan and if those last minute shoes you ordered are going to arrive on time.

There are many ways to write your wedding vows, but unless you are the next Tim Winton or Egdar Allan Poe, it may end up being a harder task than you originally had thought. With so many memories to reflect on, good times shared and reasons why you love your significant other, it can sometimes be hard to narrow it down and know exactly what to include and what to leave out.

To get to the point, we have put together a little recipe for vow writing success, that we hope will help you in crafting vows that will make your other half laugh, cry and confirm how much you love them.

Image: @raemarie_loveclub

Things to Remember:

1. Be thoughtful – your vows are meant to make your other half feel friggin’ amazing, so speak from the heart.

2. Be personal – use your fiancés name or nickname. Remember, you are talking to them.

3. Be considerate – though humour, and wit is encouraged in tasteful doses, hint at the funny stories or embarrassing moments rather than spelling them out. Your vows aren’t a script for roasting your other half. Remember point 1, make your partner feel friggin’ amazing!

4. The legalities – remember that there are some legal requirements for marriage vows, so be sure to chat to your celebrant, officiant, or whoever may be the one to make it legal, prior to writing to make sure you have everything you need to include. Also advise them of your wish to write your own custom vows, so they can plan your ceremony with this in mind.

5. Do it your way – If you are a singer, then sing! If you enjoy poetry, write a poem, do what is true to you.

6. Plan with your partner – make sure you are on the same page with your partner. Together, determine the length and tone of your vows, to help guide you both through the process.
For example: 
Length: 5-8 sentences
Tone: (clarify the degree of humour) – No sexy stories, no mention of our trip to the slopes, only one cheeky comment allowed – you get the picture.

Image: @youmeandtheseaphoto

The Layout:

Like all great love stories, your vows will have a beginning, a middle and an end.

 

The Beginning

An opening statement. Set the scene and give context to what you say next. Make reference to when you knew you first loved them, or how you came to realise you knew they were the one. 

Here are some sentence starters to get you thinking:

–   Remember when…

–   When we first met…

–   When I think about…

–   I love the way you…

–   It will never be (something) without (something)…

 

The Middle

The why – everyone knows you are lovestruck, but what is it that makes you love your fiancé the most? This is your chance to tell them exactly what and why you love them.

 Gather some descriptive words that best represent your fiancé, and tie them together with a few sentences on what makes them so amazing.

 Ask yourself:

–   What makes your fiancé unique / what are their best qualities?

–   What do you look forward to the most about seeing them each day? 

–   How is your fiancé different from anyone you have ever met?

 

 The End

The promises & your future together.

What do you promise?

–   If there were only 3 promises you could make to your fiancé for the rest of your lives, what would they be?

Reflect on your future together.

–   What are you looking forward to? This could be a long term goal you have made together like travelling the world or building a holiday house, or milestone such as starting a family.

–   Pssttt; this is where you could add your touch of cheeky by saying something like ‘I can’t wait to grow old, wrinkly and cranky together’ or ‘I hope our future daughter has your brains, and my sass’.

 

Recipe for success:

Mind map and write down absolutely everything you feel is important & you want to bring to the table. Reread over it and circle the no.1s.

Make a list of descriptive words that best describe your future spouse, these will come in handy when you are wanting to bulk up or link sentences.

Then add it to a table like this:

**Another tip: keep all of your sentences short & sweet. This will help with the overall flow and will also work in your favour when reading aloud.

 

Remember:
A draft is better than nothing at all! And finished is better than perfect. Once you have your points, you are pretty much there. Don’t over think it and don’t pick it apart. Your vows are meant to come from the heart.

Image: @jamessimmonsphotography

 

What’s next:

YOU DID IT, well done! Now it’s time to re-read and rehearse.

First of all, make sure you can read them. Make yourself two copies; a nice presented version which you can give to your other half after the ceremony, and a version you can read. Think black, san serif block letters printed on white paper, in a size you can see.

Practice speaking out loud, and in front of a mirror. Even if you are the best public speaker with nerves of steel, you never know what kind of emotions are going to hit you on your wedding day. So, practise speaking your vows with confidence and calm, remember to look up and pretend to practise making eye contact with your partner, imagine you are speaking directly to them.

And last but not least, try to memorise as much as you can. Your vows will be so much more heartfelt if you are looking into your partner’s eyes than reading off of a piece of paper.